Writing Your Wedding Vows: A No-Stress Guide for Sierra Foothills Couples
Quick Answers (for the “Just Tell Me What to Do” crowd)
How long should my vows be? 2–3 minutes or ~250–350 words. Shorter is better than rambly.
When should we write them? Draft 4–6 weeks out; finalize 1 week before the wedding.
Can we keep some traditional lines? Yes—blend classic phrases with personal promises.
Should we share vows in advance? Share general tone/length; keep exact wording a surprise.
Why Writing Your Wedding Vows Feels Hard (And Isn’t, Actually)
You’d think talking about the love of your life, in front of your favorite people, surrounded by Sierra Foothills vines, would be easy. And yet… suddenly writing your wedding vows feels harder than choosing your guest list.
Good news: vows are just a short story plus a few promises. That’s it. On your ceremony lawn, with golden hour light over the estate vines, nobody is grading you. They just want to hear you.
This guide walks you through a simple, repeatable process you can finish in under an hour (we’ll allow snack breaks and sips of Petite Sirah).
Step 1: Set a Few Guardrails (So You Don’t Accidentally Write a Novel)
With great love comes great word count… unless you set limits.
Decide together:
Length: Aim for ~300 words or 2–3 minutes out loud.
Tone:
Mostly romantic with a little humor
Equal mix of heartfelt + funny
Sweet and simple, minimal jokes
Do/Don’t List:
✅ Inside jokes your guests will mostly understand
✅ Light teasing (“I promise to pretend not to notice your 37 houseplants”)
❌ Exes, anything NSFW, super-private fights or trauma
Format:
Both start with a short story, then promises
Or both use a simple “I love you because / I promise to…” structure
These guardrails keep your vows feeling aligned—even if you’re writing them separately.
Step 2: Grab These 6 Prompt Questions
Open a blank doc, pour a glass of wine, and answer these in bullet points. No pretty sentences yet:
When did you know this was different?
What do you genuinely love about their personality? (3–5 traits, not “everything”)
What’s one funny or everyday moment that feels very “us”?
What have you learned from them or because of them?
What do you want your future to feel like? (Not just “house, kids, dog”; think vibe.)
What do you want to promise when things are easy and when they’re hard?
You now have all the raw material you need for vows that sound like you—not a Pinterest board.
Step 3: Plug It Into This Easy Vow Template
Use this plug-and-play structure. Rewrite in your voice, but keep the bones:
Opening: how you feel + their impact
“I never knew how steady life could feel until you walked into that crowded bar in Sacramento and made it feel like it was just us.”
One short story or snapshot
“From road trips through Nevada County backroads to quiet nights cooking pasta, you’ve turned everyday moments into my favorite memories.”
What you love & admire
“I love your curiosity, your fierce loyalty to your people, and how you always notice when the sky looks extra pretty over the vines.”
Your promises (3–7 of them)
“I promise to choose you in the little things and the big ones.”
“I promise to listen, even when I’m convinced I’m right.”
“I promise to make our home feel calm and safe, no matter what storms we’re weathering.”
Closing line
“I stand here in the Sierra Foothills, surrounded by everyone we love, choosing you today and every day after this.”
Boom. That’s your first draft.
Step 4: Make It Winery-Wedding Specific (because, vibes)
One of the perks of getting married at a winery: your surroundings are ready-made metaphors.
A few lines you can adapt:
“Like these vines, I know our love will weather every season and come back stronger.”
“I promise to be your safe harbor when life feels like harvest season—chaotic, busy, and somehow still beautiful.”
“As we say these vows in the glow of golden hour, I promise to never stop looking for the light with you.”
If you’re planning a more intimate celebration, your vows can lean into that. Our Sierra Foothills micro weddings put you right up close with your people, which makes shared stories and light comedy land really well. You can learn more about our micro wedding ceremonies among the vines at the dedicated page on our site: micro wedding options at Naggiar Winery.
Step 5: Edit Like a Friend, Not a Teacher
Once your draft is done:
Read it out loud (alone, in your car, to the dog).
Time it—2–3 minutes is the sweet spot on the ceremony lawn.
Cut anything that:
Requires a 3-minute backstory
Sounds like a text you’d send a group chat, not your partner
Is really just a flex (we’re not doing LinkedIn vows)
Aim for clear over clever. The wind may pick up over the estate vines, your emotions will be high, and Grandma is in the back row. Short, simple sentences win.
Step 6: Logistics So You Don’t Panic at the Barrel Room
A few practical things couples at Naggiar ask about all the time:
Where do I keep my vows?
A small notebook looks great in photos.
Or a clean, single sheet of paper (thick stock so it doesn’t flap in the breeze).
When do I finish them?
Draft: 4–6 weeks before the wedding.
Final polish: 1 week prior.
No same-day vow writing in the tasting room. You deserve better than that.
Should we show them to anyone?
Consider a quick check-in with your officiant or coordinator for length/tone.
If you’re working with our on-site coordinator as part of your wedding packages, they can help make sure your vows fit smoothly into the ceremony timeline. Check current wedding pricing and package details at Naggiar Winery here: wedding pricing and packages overview.
Step 7: Practice with the Actual Aisle in Mind
If you’re getting married here at Naggiar, practice imagining:
Your partner at the end of the ceremony lawn
Your guests tucked in under the trees, Grass Valley hills in the distance
The mic in your hand (your coordinator will coach you on holding it near your chin)
The sun dropping behind the vines
Run your vows 2–3 times out loud. The goal isn’t memorization—just comfort. On the day, you’ll be nervous. Practicing now means Future You gets to actually enjoy the moment.
If you want to see what your vow backdrop could look like, scroll through our real winery ceremony photos here: see winery wedding ceremonies in our photo gallery.
When to Get Help (Because Yes, Vow Brain Is Real)
If you’re:
Totally stuck on the first sentence
Worried about public speaking
Trying to balance two cultures, faiths, or languages
…you don’t have to figure it out alone. Many couples loop in a trusted friend, officiant, or coordinator. When you reach out about hosting your wedding with us, we’re happy to share ceremony outlines and timing tips that make your vows feel natural in the flow of the day.
Ready to picture yourself reading your vows between the vines? Start by saying hi. You can reach out to Naggiar Winery Weddings to check dates and schedule a tour here: contact our wedding team at Naggiar Winery.
Pro Tips
Write vows at separate times, then compare word counts (roughly) so they feel balanced.
Keep a printed backup in the getting-ready space, plus a photo on your phone.
If you’re emotional, pause and breathe; your guests will love you even more for it.
Ask your photographer to capture close-ups of your vow books on the ceremony lawn or in the barrel room.
Common Mistakes
Waiting until the night before (hello, stress + spelling errors).
Turning vows into a stand-up routine—a couple of jokes is great; a full comedy set, not so much.
Oversharing deeply private details your partner isn’t expecting.
Writing entirely in inside jokes your guests don’t understand. Your vows should still make sense to Grandma.
FAQs
1. How long should our personal wedding vows be?
Aim for 250–350 words or about 2–3 minutes when spoken out loud. That’s long enough to say something meaningful without losing your guests’ attention.
2. Can we write our own vows and still have a traditional ceremony?
Absolutely. Many couples keep the classic “I do” exchange and add personal vows before or after. Your officiant can help you blend both.
3. Should we keep our vows a surprise from each other?
Keep the exact wording a surprise, but agree on length and tone so one set of vows doesn’t feel dramatically longer or sillier than the other.
4. What if I cry and can’t get through my vows?
Totally normal. Pause, breathe, smile at your partner, and keep going. Emotion makes vows powerful—your guests will be right there with you.
5. Do we need vow books for a winery wedding?
You don’t need them, but small vow books photograph beautifully against estate vines and barrel room backdrops. They’re also easier to hold than a crumpled piece of paper.
6. When should we finish writing our vows?
Finish a solid draft 4–6 weeks before the wedding and finalize them a week out. That gives you time to edit, practice, and relax.
